Friday, May 2, 2008 Informers two thousand oh-eight season begins May 27th
June 3, 2008
The Catcher and the Fly
IF YOU REALLY want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is what the score was, what lousy plays we didn’t make, and about how if it wasn’t for the lightning in the second game we’d’ve been crushed and all that Bad News Bears kind of crap, but I don’t feel like going into it, if you really want to know the truth. 
In the first place, my teammates would have about two hemorrhages apiece if I said anything pretty bad about our game. They’re quite touchy about anything like that, the whole lot of them. Besides, the first game wasn’t really all that bad anyways, and we might even have won it, if not for the crumby infield grass. If it’s one thing I hate, it’s fielding dribblers in the rough. Don’t even mention them to me.
I’ll just tell you about the team I guess, and some of the people who aren’t playing this year and that sort of thing. Maybe about the Dysfunctionals, too, because they were actually pretty cool and played a good game and all that and I think you’d like that and, really, if you don’t, you wouldn’t even know if it bothered me at all. But it wouldn’t.
Drew pitched pretty well and all, even though he’s about lame and I don’t know how he can breathe though that mustache. He’ll be the first to tell you he’s no spring chicken, but he’s a good guy and all, will bend over backwards for you even if he can’t bend over forwards to pick up the damn ball. To be honest, though, we just about love the guy for some reason. Maybe it’s all the RBIs. And we’re all terribly fond of the second half of the battery, too. It’s hard to believe what a pair of eyeglasses can do for a player. If you don’t believe me, come to a game and you’ll have to be honest and say Persia’s a new woman. One who can see. 
The infield hardly ever messed up and you might even say they weren’t terribly bad at all. Shawn is always talking about how he doesn’t want to move when he’s on the field, like it’s a game that should be played while sitting in a lawn chair or something. I guess that’s why he has pretty much stayed away from playing first base. The thing is, he actually moves pretty good out there, and he and Lafaithea made some ok plays on the right side of the infield. You probably remember Lafaithea from last year. She doesn’t mess around at all, especially when she’s batting. Yes, that girl can still hit.
The left side of the infield is all revamped because Brad moved to D.C. and took his damn big bat with him. We’re still pretty sore about that. But we kind of got lucky because this new girl Sara joined the team and she’s a really good fielder and hitter, too. You can tell she’s played some softball in her time and she’s out there to win the game and you probably don’t want to get in her way if y
ou know what I mean. Eric played third because Mad Dog was on vacation, and probably nobody was more surprised that he wasn’t actually bad. He still has those ridiculous glasses, though, like Bono would ever play softball, but he’s not as fat as he was last year so that’s good I guess.
After last season old Mark left, too. He used to play outfield and you probably remember him because he ran around a lot. He used to hit all right and we pretty much knew we would miss him, if only because he made the rest of us look agile. Coach Tierney played left and Tavon played center field. They are pretty quick, those two, and only once did a ball get over their heads and, yeah, some runs scored that time. The trouble is, that kind of junk is sort of fascinating to watch, even if you don’t want it to be. But they both hit the ball very, very hard. That’s pretty much a good thing. 
That Camara played rover and, man, she killed me. Talk about finding a niche and filling it perfectly. I almost thought that she might have paid the Dysfunctionals a whole lot of money just to make her look good, but I figure that’s probably not the case. She’s just a damn good fielder and hits like a ton of bricks, too.
Things could’ve turned lousy when Mark dropped from the team, but we also got another new fielder named Daniel. He also ran around a lot and pretty much knocked down everything that came his way. He played right field and rover and we all thought he was a pretty cool customer, which is good because panicking really doesn’t pay off. Trust me on that.
So, anyways, I guess that’s pretty much the story. Oh, we lost the first game 11-9 and the second one was rained out. It was going pretty lousy and, even though M.J. was finding her pitcher’s groove with Edwin catching, I’m pretty sure none of us minded at all. I guess next week we’ll be playing in a damn furnace, at least that’s what the TV weatherman is saying. Record highs all week. I’ll tell you what, somebody better bring some water and extra hunting caps. I’m not kidding. 
